Leave The Memories Alone, Edward
by Jaspers-Girl-and-u-no-it
Summary: First songfic. Song: Leave The Memories Alone. Artist: Fuel. This is Edward's pov when he decides to go to Volterra and a little before. Enjoy. Check out the song, too. It's amazing!


So here I am with my thoughts of you

Laying down, not breathing, not moving. Thinking of her was painful, but at the same time eased the pain.

And this world I've left for me

Whenever her name happened to fly across my mind, which was often, I missed her with an excruciating burn. I missed my reason for existing, for being on this world.

_Stoic faces when I think of you  
And how I once believed _

The apathetic expression forced into place upon my cold face didn't ever slip. Never was it possible to see through and tell just how the pain ravaged my insides, begging for me to cry out in agony.

So now you call me, but you know I won't let you through

_I've myself to deceive_

The yearning to return to my Bella, to wrap her in my arms was nearly overpowering. I had left to protect her, to let her live a normal life without me.

_So leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see  
The way it is, as to how it used to be_

Her face was always in my mind, changing constantly. Happy, teasing, playful. Those were expressions that I fought to keep. Recently, though, the memory of the last time I had seen her seemingly had rooted itself in my mind, leaving me to face a crying Bella for all time.

_Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
And I'll hold you here in my memory_

The scent of her, the warmth of her touch was forever ingrained in my perfect memory. I may never see her again, hold her again, but I would always be able to see what she had looked like at 18.

_So I find me in your garden now  
A sad smile for the scene_

Her smiling face framed by soft, chestnut hair slowly grew further and further away, allowing me to see that she was standing in our meadow. A small, bitter smile graced my lips for a moment before morphing back into apathy._  
_

_And all the flowers that we planted now  
Taken by the weeds_

Every memory of her was tainted by the final one, the one where she stood, tears glistening in her deep eyes. She hadn't been aware of it, but her arms had been crossed across herself protectively, her body leaning in as if to protect her fragile heart.

_  
But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me  
They stand tall there, in that summer breeze_

It was difficult to remember the reason I'd left her in the first place with the memories that would never fade, of her lying beside me in the tall grasses, shaking slightly in fear as I drove slowly, were slowly blocked out by more sobering scenes.

_Leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see  
The way it is, as to how it used to be_

Sitting up felt foreign as I had spent the last few months, lying in this motel in Rio. The pain I was feeling as the last time he saw her slowly became the only thing I was able to see, overpowered my reason for leaving, and though I hated himself with a passion, I found that I was already running fast towards my Bella.

_Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
And I'll just hold you here in my memory_

I could feel Bella's spirit drawing nearer to me, and it brought back the beautiful memories once again. The phone rang, and I quickly flipped it open, pressing it to my ear as I ran. Listening in horror to what my sister, Rosalie was telling me, I stopped my path abruptly.

_In my memory, yeah_  
_So leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see_  
_The way it is, as to how it used to be  
Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
And I'll hold you in my memory_

Hanging up the phone without saying 'goodbye,' I deposited it quickly in a nearby trashcan, knowing that Alice would see my plan and try to talk me out of it. A new vision filled my mind, created solely by my imagination—Bella, my beautiful love throwing her fragile body from atop a high cliff. Tears were streaming from her miserable eyes. My body shook violently as I saw her body hit the waves below, and never resurface.

_You'll never change  
You'll never change  
You'll never change_

In my mind at least, she would always look as she had during happier times. Even when I was gone, I was sure that was how everyone else would remember her. Closing my eyes while I ran, I gently whispered my love to her beautiful spirit.

_You will never change_


End file.
